First off, let me say that I am very thankful for my life. This week has shown me a new appreciation for my family, especially my little boy. With that said, this has been a very long week. Of course any week that includes Vacation Bible School is going to be a long week, but events this week of course have made it seem like it lasted a lifetime.
Today I felt like I just wanted to sleep all day, and my lovely wife did let me sleep a great deal, but I had to spend some time at the funeral. Funerals for 8 year olds are just unnatural. The words that you hear at other funerals sound hollow and perverted. You are left clinging to the truth that you know deep in your heart that God is good and holy and righteous, but you cling to them like a castaway clings to hopes of rescue. You cling to them even though everything in your mind screams at you to just give up.
It is these times when my heart turns to two pasages from the Bible. One is when Jesus tells his followers that they are going to have to eat his flesh and drink his blood and many of them turn away. He looks at the twelve and asks them if they will turn away too and Peter says, “to whom would we go, you alone have the words of eternal life.” I feel that way right now. I cling to God because there is no one else to cling too, and even though I don’t understand him I still cling to him because he alone has the words of eternal life. He alone is my hope.
The other passage is in Job, long after the friends of Job have given their speeches, when God shows up and begins to answer Job’s questions. It wasn’t the answer Job was looking for, but at the end of God’s reminder of His nature and His character Job was satisfied.
I am praying right now that I can be satisfied with the answers that I find. I am praying even more that this family can be learn to be satisfied as well.