I am getting old. I know that. I can feel it in my bones.
One of the big ways that I know I am getting old is there are people who come up with ideas that they are all excited about and they feel like they just now discovered that this was a problem in our church and I am have to smile and not just say, “well, duh!” I get a little frustrated at times when the very things that I have been saying for years (the things I have been asked to check on and have written reports about) get said back to me in a “why didn’t you think of this fashion.” I want to scream. “I did think of it. I have been trying to find someone to help me fix it for years now, and I would fix it myself, but I already wear about 50 hats in this church and I can’t put one more on right now or all of the rest of them will fall off.”
But I don’t say that. I stand and I smile and try to be excited that someone else finally sees what I have been saying all along. It is a good thing that things will change, but I just wish they could change without people looking at me like I am a moron for not fixing them before. I’m not a moron I am just one person and there is only so much I can fix. (Even less that I can fix since the church brought in a guy to lead instead of letting me head things up during this transitional time. So I don’t have very much “whole church” authority to make changes.)
But what I see in this is how people in the church must have felt when I first arrived. I was young and naive and just full of ideas and answers. I know that I looked at people like “why in the world haven’t you been doing things my way before?” and I know that some of them wanted to hit me with a snow shovel. I understand now that most of the stagnation that goes on in churches isn’t because the leadership doesn’t want things to be better, but rather because the leadership can only do so much. And until the rest of the church steps up and starts trying to help and make a difference there is just so much that leaders can do.
But now I am just rambling so I will be quiet again. Just wanted to share that I am old. I hope I am at least a little wiser to go along with that age, but you just never know.