I am anxious. There are a number of reasons, but they can all be summed up in the fact that my second son Noah will be born at 7:30 on Thursday morning. I have all of the usual Dad worries. Having a baby is rough on a father because there is soooo little that I have to do. I pretty much stand around and have no control whatsoever of an event that is going to change my life. It is humbling and hard.
But since this blog is supposed to be about youth pastor things I also have some of those fears too. You see I have been a dad for a little over 3 years now and I don’t think that I have yet to figure out how to be the type of youth pastor I want to be and a dad at the same time. I mean, I think I am doing a pretty good job at the dad thing, well at least an OK job, but I think that makes me not a great youth pastor sometimes. I still haven’t learned how to balance the two.
Now with a new little guy coming into the house I am worried about what the future will hold and just where I am going to find hours in the day. And it is about more than just time, it is about mind-share and heart. Hanging out with Nathan is great, in fact it is the coolest thing I have ever known to just walk with him and see him reach his hand up for mine when he gets to a step or somewhere else that he might fall. But spending extended periods of time each day with a 3 year old is very, very draining. I honestly don’t see how stay at home moms stay sane.
So I am worried about all of the things I should be worried about and I am also worried about how my life is going to change. With Nathan I thought I knew how things would be different, but I really had no clue. I can’t even imagine how things are going to change on Thursday.
But honestly I am pretty excited about seeing the little guy.