Senior Adults are vital to Youth Ministry

Senior Adults are vital to Youth Ministry

I wrote this article a long time ago and just recently found it again. So this isn’t about my current church, but I thought the stuff is still relevant so I figured I would post it. 

Senior Adults Important to Student Minstry?

Up until a couple of years ago when I get together with my youth pastor friends one of the common topics of discussion is how the church just “doesn’t get” what the youth ministry is doing. We would say things like, “Can you imagine what would happen if we tried that in big church?” and “That would get me fired for sure.” We complained that our churches weren’t forward thinking enough and that no one wanted to change. And like most youth pastors most of our criticism fell at the feet of senior adults. I now realize that none of my complaints about the senior adults in my church were true. In fact the senior adults in my church are a vital part of my ministry with students.

I work in a small church (around 200 in Sunday school) in the Deep South. For a while I thought that it was your typical resistant to change small church. Until one day one of my senior adult ladies came up to me before church and asked if she needed to move back a row. She told me that she had been sitting on the 3rd row of that church for 35 years, but the youth who were sitting in the front two rows seemed cramped and she wanted to know if she needed to move back a row. She wasn’t mad that she had to move; she wanted more people to come to church and was willing to change in order to accommodate them. This was just the beginning.

I was preaching for a little while and on Sunday nights. I decided to use drama and storytelling instead of the traditional sermon. Afterwards, It wasn’t my youth who came up to tell they appreciated the change; it was a couple of senior adult men who would come to me with tears in their eyes after each service. Just recently we had a month of prayer and closed the month with a Sunday night worship service dedicated to prayer. We set up prayer stations around the room that used letters, art, candles, and even food to help focus our prayers. The church members move about the room and prayed at them for the whole church time. Again after it was finished it was senior adults who came up to me and asked to do it again.

I have to admit I am bragging a little here. Our church has some great people. I don’t know if I just hit the senior adult jackpot, or if in every church there is are a multitude of senior adults waiting to wake up and worship, waiting for someone to reach out to them and invite them to new ways of encountering God. I would hope that the latter is true. I’m not an expert and I don’t know if any of these ideas will work with your church, but here are a few things that helped our senior adults become more involved in the life of students and in the forward movement of our church.

  1. You need to spend time with them. As a youth worker you need to build relationships with your senior adults. If they have a monthly meal find a way to get invited. If they are sick go and visit them. Go to the nursing home and talk to them. Get on your church’s prayer chain between two senior adults so you get to talk to them often. Make sure you go out of you way to speak to them before and after church. Join their Sunday school class for a quarter and build some relationships that way. Don’t worry about knowing all of them at one time. Spend time with a few of them and word will get around that you care about them and their needs.

*author’s note: I learned this one the hard way. In my first youth pastor job I thought my job was students not seniors. I didn’t spend much time with them and as a result I had several conflicts. Finally one of them said. “We don’t even know you.” and I realized my mistake. At this church I tried hard not to make the same mistake again.

  1. Keep them informed on the “why’s” of your ministry. Sometimes senior adults see youth ministry as just a time of playing games. The fun stuff gets lots of publicity, and the spiritual stuff can sometimes get lost. When you are talking to your seniors be sure to include why you are doing what you are doing. Let them know that the guys you have been playing basketball with for three months finally came to a youth event. Tell them how the games you are using relate to the gospel. Fill them in on the spiritual side of what you are doing.
  2. Tell them stories about your youth. Get them personally involved by sharing stories with them. When you are talking to them before church and a student walks by tell about what is happening in that student’s life. A short sentence like “Wow, he said one of the most profound things in small group last week and he never talks.” can change a senior’s prospective about your ministry. Remember people respond to stories so tell stories more than you tell facts.
  3. Use their strength as prayer warriors. You probably have a group of people who meet to pray at your church already. Get them involved in your ministry by giving them students to pray for. Remember they will respond to stories about people more than just requests for an event. A simple note saying, “please pray for Jennifer she is stressed about school and what she is going to do after graduation” or “could your remember Rebecca as you pray? He parents are against her being a Christian, but she is here every week and it is a struggle for her.” can involve your seniors in the lives of your students. Also, go to individual members and ask them if they would be willing to pray. The simple fact that you are coming to them will compliment them and they will feel more useful. You also get the added bonus of their prayers.
  4. Give them jobs to do in your ministry. Probably the music at your youth events will be too loud, but you can use their talents in lots of other ways. Use seniors to make blindfolds, bake cookies, make banners, and other little things like that. In each case I was sure to tell them the spiritual side of what we were doing and also careful to give a good report after the event. Seniors can be involved in your every week meetings too. I have had seniors come and talk about marriage and being respectful. Getting seniors involved lets them not only see what you are doing, but it also give them ways they can help with ministry.
  5. Use your students in your weekly church meetings. This may be harder if you don’t have support from your senior pastor, but put students in front of the church as much as possible. Let them sing specials, do creative readings, take up the offering, and pray during church. Don’t separate them from the rest of the congregation. You will be using their talents and letting the church see how they are maturing.
  6. Get your students involved in community service. Seniors appreciate hard work and one of their big complaints about students is that they don’t know how to do any. Get your students out into the community. Have a free car wash, pass out popcorn at a movie rental place, give away water at a park, just get out and serve your community. It will benefit your students, but it will also be nice when someone gets up and complains about your trip to Six Flags – you will be able to list all of the service projects they have been involved in.
  7. Get your students involved in serving your church members. At least once a year you should take students to the local nursing home. Those three hours of service will be talked about for months by your senior adults. Put together leaf raking or house cleaning parties and go out and help your seniors. Take a group in the van with hoses and buckets and go house to house washing cars. Clean out gutters or wash storm windows. Serve your seniors adults in love and they will respond. Not only that your students will learn to love them as well.
  8. Brag about your senior adults to your students. Never put them down in front of your students. You need to create a culture in your church where the senior adults are honored for their wisdom and abilities. If a student is having trouble, send them to a senior adult for counseling. When students respect senior adults the adults will respond.
  9. Integrate your students and senior adults as much as you can. Have a quarter where you join a senior adult and student Sunday school class. Host intergenerational banquets and teas. Place senior adults and students on ministry teams together. However you do it find ways to help students and senior adults to connect with each other. When they stop seeing each other as just a group of people and start seeing each other as individuals they will find new love for each other.

If you use these principles you should be on your way to better student-senior adult relationships. You can’t do all of these at once, but you can begin now to build relationships. Remember your church isn’t a battleground between students and senior adults. You need them to survive and they need you. If you take the time to stop looking at them as the enemy and start seeing them as a vital part of your ministry I think you will find that they will want to support you too.

Why I do what I do

Why I do what I do

As I sit here in my office I am about 30 minutes away from Marshal County High school. This morning there was a shooting there. A student of the school showed up with a gun and shot at his classmates killing 2 and injuring several others. In the past 6 months there have been several other shootings at schools including on in Italy, TX that happened yesterday, that I hadn’t even heard about until today.

Right now it is 2:02 and I, like so many other parents, am counting the minutes until school gets out so I can see my kids and give them a big hug simply because I still can. As I sit here one thought keeps coming into my head.

“This is why I do what I do.”

There are lots of reasons why I am a youth pastor. It is where my skills have lead me. It is a whole lot of fun. It’s easier than being a pastor. It is amazing to see students worshiping God, especially those doing it for the first time. But when it all comes down to it the reason I do what I do is because of days like today, because we are living in a messed up broken and dark world and there are millions of teenagers who need to see the hope Jesus offers and for some God only knows reason He has sent me to take the light to them.

This is why I do what I do.

I do it because I walked through dark times, through bullies, and parents dying, and my own stupid mistakes, and I know how dark life can feel at times. I do it because in all of those times I always knew that I had hope because I always knew that God was with me. I do it because while I always knew those things I also know that there are so many kids right now who don’t have Jesus walking with them, they don’t see light at the end of the tunnel, they don’t see the hope that God brings. I do what I do because these students need to know that while this world is broken and messed up ultimately this is not all there is. There is a God who loves and cares for them, and ultimately this broken world is not our home.

As I have gotten a chance this past year to spend some time in the middle school I have found students who are desperate for someone to see them, to care about them, to speak good things into their lives. My heart breaks each time I walk out of the building because I know that there are so many more of them than I could ever help. But the reason I do what I do is because God has put in me a deep desire to see teenagers find Jesus, to find hope, to find real life that only God can provide.

On a day like today I am reminded again.

This is why I do what I do.

I say Merry Holidays

I have been hearing about this war that is on Christmas. I am not much of a Fox News watcher so it has taken me a while to get involved in this war. Lately I have been around Christians who are all up in arms about how “they” are stealing Christmas and they are always shocked at how little I seem to care. There are so many people that feel like it is their Christian duty to not only say Merry Christmas but be belligerent about it.

Does anyone else think it is strange that what is intended to be a nice way of wishing someone well has basically became a way of telling someone off. “I say Merry Christmas and if you don’t like it well then you can just kiss it.” I just don’t understand why that helps our cause as Christians. What is causing the most damage in this “War on Christmas” are the Christians who are using Christmas as a way to belitle people who don’t believe the way that they believe. Does anyone else find this just sad that at Christmas time when we could be reaching out with the love of Christ we are instead fighting over words.

I have said it before and I will say it again. If more Christians lived like Christians then we would have this problem, but it is much easier to put up a wall around yourself and get excited against everyone who isn’t like you and paint them as evil. It is much easier to just say, “I say Merry Christmas, darn it” than actually getting to know someone and living like Christ in front of them.

There is a war on Christmas, but it has nothing to do with words, it has to do with Christians who have become more concerned with winning a political argument than loving others. There is a war on Christmas and we are losing this celebration of God’s gift of Jesus to the world because we are more concerned about losing a few traditions. There is a war on Christmas and the very people who feel like they are standing up for God are turning people away from Him.

If we are going to declare war, why not declare war on the sin in our lives. If we are going to declare war why not declare war on poverty or loneliness. Think about this, if everyone who was upset about such and such store not saying Merry Christmas would instead give a gift to someone with a real need this year. That would change some minds and and soften some hearts.

While we are at it, let me just say that Christians are very giving people. They build hospitals support charities work in food banks and with the homeless. Christians are the first ones to help out in disasters and they are usually the last ones to leave. But somehow the dominate image of Christians by most non-Christians is of political agendas, boycotts, and bigotry. What can we do to change that?

Lord, Undo Me

[ worship,poetry,lifestyle and spiritual adventure ] – matt’s journal – Lord, save me.

Lord, save me from myself, my own self-absorbed thoughts, from my personal aspiration, from my personal hounds in the distance, from my need to please, from my quiet dissatisfaction, from my ever-intense loneliness, my primal fears of destruction, from my self-defeating actions, my darkness and my false diatribes, my lateral glances to idols, my past failures, regret, and self-guessing moments, my postmortems and predictable collapses. save me from all that is only me and never you.

The Above Quote came from Matt Tullos’ weblog. It speaks so true to my heart. I find myself crying out for God to save me from me, to undo me and let me stand, even if it is painful, before him. Below is the poem that I used tonight in worship. I think it has a similar theme

Lord Undo Me

   I don’t really worship these day
   I don’t really stand up to praise you with songs
   Or prayers or actions
   or with anything
   I am full of all the right moves
   I am full of all the right words
   I am full of all the right religion
   But it is all just illusion
   I am really
   Too religious
   Too realistic
   and well really just to lazy
   to worship you anymore
   I have lost my first love
   I have lost the joy of your presence
   But most of all I have lost the fear of your glory
   Papa God I need to see you again
   Like Isaiah I want to stand in awe of your glory
   To fall down at your feet
   To come face to face with your

   I want to stand before you and see you for who you are
   and me for who I am
   I want to be undone
   I want to know me for who I really am
   I want to see the depths of my heart
   And know that you are the only way
   You are the only truth
   You are the only life
   I want to see me and understand
   What it really must have taken for you to
   Love me
   Care for me
   See me
   Speak to me
   Want me
   Communicate with me
   Die for me
   Die for me
   Die for me
   Lord, I want to stand in that place where all I can see is your glory
   And my sin
   Because in that place I can’t help but worship you.
   Lord let me come undone
   Undo my heart
   Lord, undo my heart
   break down these walls that I love so much
   No, wait don’t,
   I’m scared I don’t know if I can handle this
   But I can’t live this way anymore
   I can’t stand here in this half-life
   this going through the motions life
   this not really alive life
   Father, I need you so come and in and do what you must
   Cut out the tumor on my heart
   Break down the walls that I love
   Lord let me come undone
   Undo my heart
   let me worship you again

Thursday, October 20, 2005 at 08:23 PM

These are rare days in the south—days filled with sunshine and cool breezes when the humidity is low and the air feels dry and pleasant and almost cozy. Most days in the south you have a choice between two extremes: raining and cold or humid and hot. Whatever the weather it always seems like the air is full of moisture, like a sponge that has been left in a bucket of water slowly soaking in the liquid, the air in the south feels heavy and southerners mop the sweat that won’t evaporate off their foreheads as they swim through it from air conditioned comfort to air conditioned comfort.

I guess it is days like that that make days like this feel almost like miracles—like gifts from God himself. Everywhere I have been today I have seen people feeling the air. Their movements are subtle, but telling. They turn their heads to the wind and the corners of the mouths turn up and their eyes close slightly as they drink in air that for a change isn’t full of water.

As I was pumping gas–doing my own personal rejoiceing in this God-gift day–a couple pulled up across the pump from me in a newish Trans-Am. I always snicker when I see these cars which to me scream redneck almost more than a mullet.

In this car was a couple maybe in their mid forties, but it was a hard to tell because life had been hard on them. They had the unmistakable look of trailer dwellers. His hair was long and unwashed and pulled tight in one long bunch behind his head. With the top covered in a maroon Bama hat that speaks redneck almost as much as the trans am. Her hair had been bleached too many times and spent too many years collecting smoke giving it a thin coated look.

As they pulled up I was captivated and for some reason I had a hard time trying not to stare. They never spoke as he pulled too far past the pump and had to back up and then pull forward again to find the right spot. He got out of the car and I saw that his sleeveless shirt had been only buttoned halfway up the front showing leathery skin and graying hair. Through the window I saw the tattoos on her also sleeve free arm. She had a list of names, drawn without much skill almost lining up and down her arm. I wondered if these were a collection of names from her past and if the long haired guy pumping gas was on the list, or if she had learned long before that the tattoos always outlast the relationship.

The man removed the gas cap and then tapped on the back on the Trans-Am. Still without words the woman reached across the car and pulled the handle beside the drivers seat and popped the rear hatch. Then again without words she got out of the car and headed inside.

I was trying my best not to look, but I was fascinated by this couple, and I must admit feeling a little superior to them. They were such a picture of life in the south. I couldn’t take my eyes away as I tried to describe the scene to myself in a myriad of ways and desperately longed for my computer.

It was then that two things happened. As I was trying to see the whole scene and catch every detail I looked at the shoes of the long haired man and noticed of course that he was wearing boots, but attached to his right leg was also a brace: screwed into the boot and strapped around his leg just below his knee. It looked like the kind of brace that kids who had polio wore in the 50’s. I don’t know why, but seeing that brace changed the whole scene for me. I suddenly felt bad for looking and even worse for feeling like I was better than him.

Then, in one of those moments that stand out so clearly in your life, the man: the redneck-trailer-living-bama-lovin-no-bathing-open-shirt-man turned slightly to face the wind and drew a deep breath of clean cool air. And in that moment I saw him not as a stereotype, not as the hard-living man I assumed him to be, but as a man who understands beauty, and as a child of God who was also enjoying this God-gift day.

Nothing much happened after that. The music didn’t come up big and I didn’t go over and shake his hand or anything. After a moment the woman returned and he said to her, “How much”

“20” she replied and got back into the car. He spent another minute at the pump, slowly clicking and releasing the handle to reach twenty dollars worth, and then he got back in the car and drove away.