Choosing who’s invited

One of the struggles that happens in youth ministry once your group grows to over 10 people is that it gets harder to have smaller more intimate events. This weekend I wanted to have a few youth over at my house to play games. Meredith and Nathan were away and it seemed like a perfect chance to have some quality time with a few students. So here is my dilemma. How do I choose what few students are invited?

Variations on this same theme happen often. In our group there is a core group of about 8 guys who hang out together all the time. This makes it difficult to have events that need smaller groups such as more intimate Bible studies or hang out times that involve actually conversation. Ever since my group has grown too large to have everyone at my house at once I have been struggling with how to have meaningful mentoring relationships with core students while at the same time spending quality time with the entire group. When you add in teenagers emotions and how quickly they can feel slighted it makes a tough balancing act sometimes, and that is without the included kids going off and talking about how great everything was and making things worse.

Anyway, I don’t really have any great advice on this subject. I do know that I find myself just dealing with the trouble many times because I believe that I need interaction with students that goes beyond large group times. At the same time I wish I there were a couple extra days in the week so I could spend the same amount of time with everyone in my group, because I have some pretty amazing youth.  

3 thoughts on “Choosing who’s invited

  1. Pastor C says:

    Shane,
    I was actually just logging on to ask you a question about your game nights and I read this post. I’m wanting to start a game night. Here’s my plan. 1)Either put all of my regular and semi-regular kids names in box or announce my game night idea and ask interested kids to fill out a signup form and put those in the box. 2)Plan a monthly game night. 3) Draw out 6-8 names a few weeks prior to each scheduled game night and mail those kids an invite. 4) If they can’t come, I’ll put their name back in the box for next time. Once all the names are drawn, everyone’s name goes back in and we start over.
    Here’s my dilemma–What games can I play that will 1) engage all the kids that come & 2) I won’t get bored with or so good at that kids don’t enjoy playing with me. Any suggestions???
    -c

  2. The Average Youth Minister says:

    Great questions! I will take some time tonight and come up with a more thoughtful response.

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