God Girls

I have a heart for teenage girls. Wow, doesn’t that sound scary, but take the creepy old man that hangs out near the cheerleader practice field elements out of it and it really is true. Lately I have been feeling this really weird dual desire. On the one hand I am about to have a son and I keep thinking about all of these manly things that we are going to do together and trying to figure out all of these different wild at heart type moments. And then on the other hand I can’t get it out of my head that I really need to focus on the girls in my youth group and spend some time helping them to reclaim their heart. So my mind keeps bouncing back and forth between what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman.

There is something so wonderful about the heart of a woman. There is something so valuable in girls, something so beautiful just wrapped up in who they are. They are the pinnacle of God’s creation. They are warrior princesses, the image of the one true King, and yet our world treats them as either clones of men or sex toys. Growing up as a girl of God in our world today seems like an almost impossible mission.

On the one hand you have this whole camp that says “be like guys” when that is just insane because girls are different and that is what makes them wonderful. Then you have teen pop stars showing more skin that clothing and everyone saying that they are “becoming women”. They are growing up in a generation without fathers, desperately looking for the love and approval that only a dad can offer. And on top of that the church is telling that that be a Woman of God you have to sit quietly and raise a family and forget about your own dreams. (alright it might not say that, but that sure is the image that it puts out.)

And in the middle of that we have these girls who are desperately trying to figure out who they are, and who will choose them and make them feel like they are valued and needed. And my heart just breaks for these girls because I want to do something to help.

You see guys are easier. It isn’t hard to gather a group of guys together and “be men”. I guess because I’m not a girl I am having a hard time figuring out how to effectively help these girls reach out to God and let him fill the deepest desires of their hearts.

Anyway, I said all of that to say that I am working on a 5 week Bible study for Wednesday nights that is just for girls. The guys are going to be there too, but it will all be focused on the ladies. The cool thing is that if the guys will actually listen they will not only understand girls better, but they will understand God better, because the heart of a woman reflects the heart of God.

I am still working out the details, but I am feeling very inadequate for this task so I need your help. If you are a lady and a reader of this blog I would love your advice. If I were to ask you what is a “Girl of God” what would say? Or if there was one truth that you could help every teenage girl to grasp about her relationship with God or her life what would it be? Or do you think I should just run away from this topic and take my manliness back to safe ground? I would love to hear from you.

5 thoughts on “God Girls

  1. chris paytas says:

    Be afraid, be very afraid. Married father of two daughters. Be afraid man. No I’m just kidding. And technically I’m not who you asked to post. But I’m kinda a resident expert.

    The one prayer that I pray for my daughters is that I can truly see who they are. Not what I want them to be but who God created them to be. The second prayer I pray is "Lord help them to clearly see your call for their lives".

    I recently took our Middle School on a retreat to Chicago and the theme was "Where in the World" and I spent the entire weekend focused on God’s creation specifically the Genesis account God creating Men and Women.

    19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
    But for Adam [h] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs [i] and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib [j] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

    And what I told the youth was that God created the "Earth, animals and humans" and called it perfect. Then he allowed us to take part in his creation and name the animals, tend the garden etc… In other words he entrusted us to his perfect creation. And I challenged the youth to think about how precious they are to God that he would allow us to share in his creation. Anyways (tough to relate in a blog) but the guys were like "Cool! Where’s the game cube." the girls were actually like "Wow! I’m valued a bunch, let’s do each others nails :)" Actually the girls were blown away. So in a nut shell I think that if you can relate through scripture the value and role of girls in God’s creation it would be wonderful for them. I don’t think they hear this message enough. I think a lot of their value is wrapped in what they have to give, not with who they are.

  2. Andy Crouch says:

    Shane,

    Keep in mind that you feel inadequate for the task because you ARE indequate for the task. All of us are. You aren’t God, and you aren’t a woman. Start with the scriptures, maybe Proverbs 31 or similar, and expound from there. Let the lesson come from Biblical truth, instead of fitting the Truth into your lesson. Youth can handle expository teaching sometimes even better than adults can, they are in a stage in life where they are looking for truth, a way to live, the difference in right and wrong. Start with the Bible as a foundation, build from there, and you’ll have a month’s worth of lessons on being a Godly woman in no time.

  3. Jen says:

    Kudos on attempting this endeavor. First off, I never suggest books I haven’t read, but I am going to because I won’t manage to read it in time for you. I am going to start reading Lost Women of the Bible: Finding Strength and Significance Through Their Stories by Carolyn Custis James.

    Here’s the synopsis for you: The women of the Bible have a strong, relevant message for women today that has been lost underneath layers of traditional interpretations and the expectation that God does his most important work through men. Crucial dimensions of their lives have been muted, forgotten, or passed over. Their strong voices are silent at a time when women are searching for answers that will hold up under the pressures and challenges confronting them today. This book brings the women of the Bible into the twenty-first century by recovering their powerful message for contemporary women.

    Girls need to understand that strength is not inherently manly. God has equipped them uniquely to serve the world. They need to understand that they have the capacity to be bold and meek, strong and weak, proud and humble, joyous and sorrowful. God gave women the capacity to live in a paradox. Revel in the gray. We are emotionally connected to people and that’s a good thing. We are often made fun of for being "overly emotional," but it’s not bad to be able to empathize and sympathize with our neighbor. Where would the world be without that? (Not to say men can’t, so don’t get mad.)

    Rather than focusing on Bible passages that discuss how women were created and how we should behave, yada, yada, yada, focus on the strong women of the Bible. There are fantastic examples there.

    If I can find what I did with it, I have a fantastic poem that you should share with your girls. I’ll get back to you about that.

    Good Luck.

  4. Cate says:

    I would start with Proverbs 31.

    As a teenage girl, my youth pastors never had a study ‘just for me’. I agree that most teenage girls are either trying to be manly or just looking for someone to love them. If you can get the girls to see, from the Bible, their role as Godly women, Daughters of the King, then you would not only be giving them food for thought but also truths that will shape their lives forever.

    Tell them your passion. Have Godly women in church spend one on one time with them. ( Titus 2:3-4) Get the guys to ask their moms questions about how hard it was growing up as a teenage girl. Assign each of them to a different Godly lady in church or in their lives and have them report the next week on what they learned. Make it fun! They will never forget it!

  5. SarahBelle says:

    I commend you on your bravery..and your heart to reach out to the girls..Just your attempt(in my opinion) will show your love to the girls..and also show the guys how much you(and they) should value the girls.

    Having been through a youth ministry program myself and now as a youth leader, I think you just need to love the girls..and to make it intentional. Doing a special series of lessons is great, but they really need consistent love…Godly/fatherly love..

    My best friend and I still talk about how our youth pastor was like a second father to us…and that’s amazing. Not only was he a spiritual leader but also a spiritual lover..

    Psalms 139 is goood too..

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