I don’t know if I am ready to have kids, because being a youth pastor is hard enough as it is. There is a student of mine who made some bad choices and is now making some even worse choices (at least in my opinion). I feel just awful–like it is my fault. I can’t help feeling responsible. Maybe if I had done one more lesson on this subject or maybe if I had called more or written a card. Shouldn’t I have known? Shouldn’t I be able to actually make a difference?
I know all of the answers to these feelings. I had a really good youth pastor who taught me all the right things, and even knowing what to do I still made stupid decisions. I know that I can’t live their lives. But my heart still hurts. I just feel so powerless.