I went to the funeral of a youth today. Well, I think of him still as a youth, but he was 20. He was the member of another church, but he was friends with our youth so he was around. He even went to camp with us one year. As I sat there watching photos of his life on the screen I kept thinking what a sucky world we live in. And how much worse the world is tonight without him here.
Then tonight I get a phone call and another family in our town just lost their mother in an accident. The son was at the same funeral I was at. The daughter is in high school still.
So of course things are a little shaken here in this small town. Students are upset and on edge. Questions are flying and phone calls are racing back and forth as people try to find some way to feel useful.
I find myself wondering what I am going to say when I walk into the school tomorrow. Because the question that everyone will want to ask, but won’t have the guts to ask is a simple one. "Why didn’t God fix this stuff?" And my only answer is "I have no freaking clue." Not really the most useful answer ever.
My heart breaks for these families. When it comes to losing a parent I have walked a similar road, but I have no clue what these guys are feeling. And now that I have a son I can’t imagine the pain of loosing one. I want to fix them, to make everything better. I want to do something, even say one word that can make things a little better. But there is nothing to do and even fewer things to say.
So I am left with my only option. I find myself praying for them, even right now. Here I am praying to the God who is big enough to stop things, but who for some reason chooses not to. I pray to him because he is the only one who can help. He is the only one who can heal.
He is God and I am not.
So I will go to him on their behalf and I will cling to what I know to be true. God is good. God responds to the prayers of his children. God is God and I am not.