So we have started Nathan on rice cereal these days. I have to admit I thought it would be fun to watch him eat, but after the first 1000 spoonfuls I don’t really think it is cute any more. What makes it hard is that he won’t keep his hands off the spoon. He wants to get his hands on it to bring it to his mouth, but he ends up just spilling things everywhere and making a big mess. On top of that he doesn’t really know how to get the spoon to his mouth so he ends up stabbing himself in the ear with a spoonful of rice cereal. It isn’t a pretty picture.
So that I don’t have to spend all day cleaning him up I try to hold his hands while I feed him, but that just makes him mad. I can’t get him to understand that while it may feel like I am holding him back I am actually just trying to get him what he wants faster.
I hope you guys can see the God parallel already, but I like to talk to much not to spell it out. I wonder if there are times when I am asking God for something I need or want and then I can’t keep my hands out of the situation. I wonder if there are times when God just has to hold down my hands and make me feel like He is against me so that He can give me what I need. It is so hard for me to trust that God can come through. I laugh at people who say "God helps those who help themselves" but then I find myself living out of that truth instead of out of the truth that God knows my needs and that He is a loving God who wants to help me.
I think that is the big thing for me. I know in my head that God is good, but sometimes I find it hard to live like God really likes me and that He wants to give me good things. I know that more times than I would like to admit I have grabbed at the spoon because I wasn’t willing to wait for God to come though. When that happens I end up like Nathan covered in a sticky mess and trying to lick the food off my bib. It just isn’t pretty.