On Sunday night I hurt my toe. It was so swollen on Monday morning that I couldn’t even bend it and now even though it moves it looks like the horse that the little Gosling girl painted on John and Kate last night–all purple an mottled. I would tell you how I did it, but it is sort of embarrassing and also not the point of this entry.
So I was walking around on Monday afternoon after the swelling had subsided and I noticed that it didn’t seem to hurt as bad as it had. Then I had this thought, “I wonder if it actually hurts less or just my perception of the pain has changed.” (Yes I did think that cool little alliteration there). Then I immediately started thinking about other places where that same statement might apply.
I think many people have reached a point in their life where they have learned to deal with the pain in their heart. They have stopped worrying about trying to fix what is wrong with them and have instead come up with a pain management system that dulls the pain enough for them to make it through their day. Their pain hasn’t gone away, but their pain perception has changed because they have lived with the hurt for so long.
I am working right now with a new way of sharing the gospel and I keep coming back to this pain idea. (even though it didn’t make it into my final draft). As long as we think we can manage the pain on our own, as long as our perception of our pain is wrong we will feel like we don’t need God. But each of us has a deep desire for God, and it is only when we stop trying to act like we aren’t hurting and actually go to the one who can help us will real healing begin.
Wow, I just had a whole other thought about guys trying to act like they aren’t hurt so they don’t have to go to the doctor, but I will let you make that spiritual leap yourself.