Alright so I had people calling and emailing asking for an update on my mystery emailer. I was all ready to put this post up here telling you nothing happened, but then today he called Bro. Alan to talk about my attitude and my apparent desire for porn to go along side the gospel. (wow, gospel porn sounds like a great title for a future blog entry, but I digress)
Anyway, if you guys didn’t know there was a list at the bottom of the bar on the right that contained a list of recently updated blogs. I had it there because I liked to look at the list from time to time to see what other people were writing about. It also helped to drive traffic to my site since those people would see it as a link from me and you know how much of a stat junkie I am. Anyway, apparently one of those links lead our mystery emailer to a porn related site.
Now there is a part of me that wants to say, “so?” There are a million places you can accidentally find porn on the net. Now I’m not sure what the site was, but if it was a real blog with someone actually writing daily in it then the English major/anthropology lover in me says that maybe it could be a good thing. Of course that is the rebel in me and to keep from causing any more problems I have taken the links off the site.
Now for my disclaimer. This is not a Family Safe Site. This is not a place for people to come and expect to see nothing that challenges them and nothing that they find morally questionable. I am not a Super Youth Minister. I am your average youth minister who is on a journey with God and sometimes I feel like being super Christian and sometimes I am so mad at God that I can’t even utter His name. Sometimes I am doing everything right and sometimes I am drawn to vices and sins and everything else that every other Christian who is walking through this world is drawn to. This blog is not for people in my church! It is my personal struggles and victories as I walk through this life with God. If you come here everyday expecting to find something positive and uplifting like some sort of “Chicken Soup for the Soul” book then you are in the wrong place. There are days when I don’t like working for a church. There are days when I hate teenagers. There are days when I think this whole Christianity thing is just a farce and I am going to write about those days here.
Why? Because I believe that there are others who are walking through the same types of days. I believe that the church has given pat answers that don’t really answer for way too long now and it is time that the leaders stop faking it and acting like they have it all together and actually show their real lives warts and all. I believe that there is a whole mass of people out there being beat down by the legalism of people like our mystery emailer and who feel like they can’t measure up because everything in their life isn’t exactly in line with what these modern day Pharisees claim to be the way to live. Alright now I am getting myself in trouble, but that is what this site is about. It is about me saying what I feel and what is going through my head. It is about real life and how I live that life. I am not perfect. And I believe that there are a whole lot of Christians struggling and hiding and faking it because they aren’t perfect either and they feel like they are the only ones who aren’t doing it all right. Well here I am to tell you that you are not alone.
And since I have gone on for a while and am already going to be in trouble again anyway. How hard is it to write in an email, “I followed one of your recently updated blog links and it took me to a porn site. Why don’t you check and see if those are saying what you want them to say.” Is that hard? Isn’t that easier than threatening me and calling my boss to tell on me.
What I don’t think this guy realizes is how many crazy people email me in the average year. I get lots of people who are on some sort of crusade or another who want me to “quit the ministry, repent, and hope that God will forgive me.” It is common to get those types of emails and I didn’t want to call someone just so they could yell at me and tell me to get out of the ministry. I know I shouldn’t be in ministry, but I have no other marketable skills.
The only reason I can think of that he wouldn’t just send me the email is that he wanted to berate me in person. That is the only reason I can imagine. It is like he needed to feel holier than me for a while. Well, that’s fine. I’m not claiming to be the moral police for anyone, Heck, (see church people read this and now I am editing myself) I don’t do a very good job of policing my own morals.
So what have we learned today? 1) Just take a moment and explain yourself in your emails. 2) Shane doesn’t do a very good job at living the Christian life 3) He already knows that and doesn’t need you to tell him 4) this blog is for people who understand lessons 1-3 5) if you don’t have your life together then this is the place for you, this is the place where you can come and feel like you aren’t alone in the world.
Christianity is a journey folks. We are all walking it together. We must put down the clubs we use to beat each other over the heads with and start trying to help each other along in love. None of us are getting it right, so none of us can feel superior. Next time you want to criticize someone else’s spiritual life: Relax, take a deep breath, and remember that God had to forgive you to.