I talked in a comment a few days ago about Wisdom and Courage and how I was asking God to help me have both in my life. All of my life it seems like I have wanted to run away from situations that made me look foolish or where I wasn’t the one in control. I have this big fear of looking out of place or like I don’t know what I am doing. So many times instead of moving forward I have simply avoided situations like that. This has caused me a great deal of trouble. I have people upset with me, who I know are upset, but I haven’t done a very good job of reaching out to them and trying to make things right. My first impulse is avoidance and hope that it will all go away.
This week God has really been working in my heart about that and has made me see the freedom that comes when I stop avoiding and start trying to make things right, at least on my part. To that end my prayer has been this week, “Lord, give me wisdom to know what to do; and the courage to follow through with it.” That has been the daily, sometimes hourly prayer of my heart.
So like I always tend to do I decided to preach on what was happening in my own life and preached about Solomon and his wisdom and Joshua and his courage. It was a fun little sermon. There were no points, just this idea that we need wisdom and if we have wisdom then we will need to have the courage to follow through with it.
Things got a little crazy this morning when right before the service started I heard that some people in one of our adult Sunday school classes were talking about me in a less than positive way. The old me would have tried to run away or act like it didn’t happen. But I prayed ferverently for wisdom and courage as I spoke. What ended up happening was that I made a commitment to call and talk to some people who I knew were offended by me. I honestly don’t know if they are offended by something I have done or by just me in general because I have never confronted the situation before. That will have to change this week.
Then I just sort of started talking, as you can do when you are preaching, and I made this commitment. “If I have offended you in some way and I don’t call you and talk to you about it this week, that means that I probably don’t know that you and I have a problem. So at 10:00 next Sunday I will be in the sanctuary and you can come in and we will talk about it. If there are several we will form a line.” Yep, I said, if I have offended you come to me and we will talk about it.
There are some people that I have to take the initiative and actually go talk to myself. These are people that I know have problems with the way that I work so we need to just sit down and talk about it. But I have a feeling that there are other people as well who I have offended or who don’t like the way that I do things–people that I don’t even know about. What I am most curious about is whether or not anyone will come and meet with me.