I came home yesterday and found a picture that my son had colored for me sitting on my desk. Meredith had written “TO: DADDY” at the top and “FROM: NATHAN” at the bottom. I looked at the picture and my heart swelled. It is still sitting here beside of me. It isn’t really a picture, just a random collection of colors and lines, but still it made me smile, still makes me smile.
As soon as Nathan saw me he was telling me about the picture that he made for me. “Daddy! I mad you a picture! Did you see it!” and wouldn’t be still until I not only told him I saw it, but went back and looked at it with him. I told him that I loved it and that he was a great colorer and that it was a great present, and while all of those are things that you are supposed to say when a three year old hands you a picture they weren’t just empty phrases. I really did love the picture. The dad in me looks at the greater proportion of green to black and the small use of blue as the beginnings of some great art talent, and honestly it is one of the best presents I have gotten all year. Because he is my son I love it. Because I know that he loves me it speaks to my heart. Because the joy that he got from giving it to me was so palpable it spilled over into me and has made me smile all day.
I was thinking this morning about worship and the way that we come to God. The longer I have a son the more I understand what it means that God is our father. I wonder when was the last time that I had this sort of present for God. I wonder when was the last time that I wasn’t self conscious about whether what I was doing was good or not. I wonder when was the last time that I just poured all of my passion, all of my enthusiasm, all of my heart and soul into a gift for God. I wonder when the last time was that my worship was something that God would put on his refrigerator.
I wonder these thingse because too often I find myself calculating my gifts to God. Worring about who will see and how much time it will take. This week I want to make a picture of worship without worrying about anything else. I want to be able to simply write “TO: DADDY, LOVE: SHANE.”