“You want to do what?”

On that very day Abraham took his son Ishmael and all those born in his household or bought with his money, every male in his household, and circumcised them, as God told him.
Genesis 17:23

When God changed Abram’s name to Abraham he also commanded him to be circumcised and to circumcise all of the men in his household. Abraham was a righteous man and promptly obeyed God, which is good. But reading this verse I keep thinking about what all of the people in his house must have thought. It might have gone something like this.

Servant 1: Have you seen Abraham today?

Servant 2: You mean Abram?

Servant 1: O so you haven’t seen him apparently God changed his name to Abraham.

Servant 2: Father of a multitude of nations? That sounds cool.

Servant 1: Yes, that part is cool, it is the other part that I am worried about

Servant 2: What do you mean?

Servant 1: Well, if you see him coming with a knife you may want to go the other way.

Servant 2: Huh?

Servant 1: Apparently God told him to circumcise everyone in his house

Servant 2: Circumcise? What’s that?

Servant 1: Well, I wasn’t sure either, but I saw Ishmael sitting with his hands holding his crotch so I asked what was wrong.

Servant 2: What did he say?

Servant 1: I almost can’t even say it.

Servant 2: Say what?

Servant 1: God told Abram, I mean Abraham to cut off a piece of every man (points down) down there.

Servant 2: No way

Servant 1: Apparently he started with Ishmael. The boy didn’t look to happy about it.

Servant 2: I knew I should have gone off with Lot. Those guys are partying all night and here Abram is trying cut off pieces of me. Pieces that I hold very dear.

Servant 1: He’s Abraham now, remember.

Servant 2: He’s crazy is what He is.

Who knows, maybe all of the people in Abraham’s household strongly believed that he heard from God, but I have to imagine that there were one or two who tried to put out a few resumes to see if they had any other job opportunities before they let Abraham come after them with that knife.

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